Saturday 16 January 2010

Shield.

So, I'm really ill. The ongoing poor health I've had increasingly for the past couple of months has been topped with a common cold, which really adds insult to injury because it's such a small thing. But I only had a little strength left and that's been punctured now. Nauseous, stuffed up, dizzy, so weak its unbelievable (I just quite humorously failed to stand up). I feel like death.

But I couldn't be happier. I was on the verge of getting stressed. Why this week? Why when I have exams? Why when I have to go back to uni? I had a pray, and think this is great. I want to live in God's strength, not my own, and this way I'm forced to. It's so much better this way. A challenge for me, a triumph for God, all glory to Jesus, less of me, more of You. My prayer has been changed from "please heal me, let me feel well enough to face the week ahead", to "Lord, help me to trust You, rely on You, live for You, by You. Let me praise You and thank You whether I'm walking or crawling into exam halls. Let me lean on You, and be glorified. Be my strength.".

He doesn't just hold me, He holds me together.

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