Sunday, 12 December 2010

Both my hands are filled with guilt
(Be my absolution)
Both my eyes are blind with filth
(Be my absolution, absolution)

Hey, baptize my mind
Hey, baptize my eyes
Hey, baptize my mind
For these seeds to give birth to life
First they must die.

Saturday, 4 December 2010


'And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be.'
~Relient K: I Celebrate the Day

One of my aboslute favourite songs of the season. Christmas and New Year always makes people intropesctive, makes them evaluate the year, make resolutions for the next. I tend to do this every other day regardless of the festive lights. Anyway, a few things recently have got me thinking.

Last night I sat talking to a good friend, discussing just how crazily busy life's gotten to be. I hate that my priorities haven't necessarily shown themselves in the wake of this. I mean, I'm involved in missional stuff, but that's not most important to me. No? Yes. I'm a full on believer in the idea that we focus on the vertical and God will take care of the horizontal. I'm not undermining the importance of evangelism, I adore it and I wouldn't be here without it and think it's absolutely what we're called to do. But first, above all all all I want to seek God and get closer to Him personally. And any seeds of life spread to people in association with my being are scattered as an overflow of how much I love Him and He loves me. Well, that's what my soul screams for...

The rub is, I don't feel like I'm seeking all that much. Well, I am, but not ever enough (will it ever be enough? probably not).

And an email I just read has made me feel like the hugest hypocrite ever.

See me kneeling
on my pedestal.

Rather than dwell, I guess this should just be corrected. Sort it out Hull.

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." - Psalm 27:4