Monday 4 January 2010

Lemon.

Another unproductive day! Everytime I work myself up to work, I spend half an hour researching the task, substantiate the claims that it's a biggun, then flop down in anticipated exhaustion.

So let's talk produce. I was thinking yesterday about what the fruits of my life are, the products of my faith. A better question is what do I want them to be? I want, through my life, for people to encounter the mahusive love of Jesus Christ. I would love to be a tool through which that love changes somebody's life. I want to further the kingdom in any which way I can, big or small. I know this is what I want! I know this is what is expected. I know this is possible.

So why is my mum lying ill in the lounge, with my gran and uncle sat by, helpess, and me sat by, dead in my seat, offering no hope?

"If we believe but do not follow, then maybe we don't believe." ~tree

I don't get it. I may be a hypocrite in many senses, but it's not just a case of empty words. I mean everything. I would lay hands on a stranger. Why is it different with my family? Ack.

ACK.

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