Wednesday, 25 November 2009


For a moment Your heart's in mine, and I fall on my knees, and ask you to leave it there.

Last night I dreamed that someone incredibly special to me had died. It was horrific. All I could think was that we'd wasted so much time focusing on the wrong things, how there was so much more we could have been doing, that we'd missed a chance and how futile everything was that we'd worried about before. I've never been so upset about a dream.

We love because He loved us first. I can't get this out of my head. Sometimes I feel like I'll explode with this incredible love inside of me, sometimes it's joyful, sometimes it's painful, but it's always amazing because I feel it and know that this is an echo, fainter and weaker, but an echo of the love that God has for us. I called the person from my dream this morning and told them that I loved them. I got the sleepy response, "Well...that's kind of weird". Which was amusing. But it didn't matter, all that mattered to me was that they knew. I had to tell them, because I couldn't bear the thought of something happening to them without knowing. Isn't this what God does every moment of our lives? Because He loves us so much that He's cut up about the thought of anything happening to us. He calls out that He loves us, and we turn around and say, "Well...that's weird". Or "Well...I don't believe You". Or, ", You carry on, just don't harass me". I want to give a better response. Love I feel for people consumes me, how incredible that this is just an imperfect version of a love more amazing and pure than my little heart could truly grasp.

God, take all of me, don't leave a thing, don't let this be it. I don't want anything that's not You. Take me on my word, I mean it. I'm Yours.

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