Ouf. Life is very, very strange with all its complications, disasters, tragedies and grinding, ongoing, arduous challenges. This has just struck me in a new way. Or a new intensity. I don't know.
I think so often I want to have answers, like apologetics. I do Text-a-Toastie, and I want to have an answer. When someone asks me why there's suffering in the world, I want to tell them. I think that being a Christian, I assumed that I've got an FAQ sort of page. If I don't know, hit the doctrine, get an answer, sorted.
But lately, I just don't know. I don't understand. I DON'T GET IT.
I'm not saying that I'm doubting God. I am simply saying, that I do not understand some things. Why some people are in such hopeless situations. I trust Him enough to believe in Him and believe He knows. But I am literally burying my head in my Father's arms and screaming I don't understand. I want to weep, I feel so small and useless in the face of such things.