Torn.

I've just stupidly epitomized my life in one minute. Turn on laptop. Pray for my heart to be protected so that I can sleep. Proceed to blatantly follow facebook links to stuff that's just going to keep me up all night thinking. Why? Stupid girl. Why? All the time I'm doing this! Saying God, help me get out of this! Help me focus on you! When all I do is turn away. Every day. I'm so annoyed at myself. I despair. Gah!

What am I doing with my life?

Don’t wake me. I’ve fallen asleep. Don’t hate me. I have no relief.
This burden is shredding my soul. This cycle is out of control.

And You call me as your friend, as I drive these nails again. I’m falling into You.
You call me as your friend, as I break Your heart again. I’m falling into You.

In a darkened room, this pain is complete. In my selfish tomb, I smell the defeat.
Why do I medicate? Why do I go back to the things I hate?
There’s something broken in me - I must be soaking in my apathy.

And You call me as your friend, as I drive these nails again. I’m falling into You.
You call me as your friend, as I break Your heart again. I’m falling into You.

All who are found in this place, come to the ocean of grace.
And all who have spit in His face, come and live!
And You call me as your friend, as I drive these nails again. I’m falling into You.
(Come and live!)
You call me as your friend, as I break Your heart again. I’m falling into You.
And You call me as your friend - my heart beats once again. I’m falling into You.