Saturday 19 December 2009

Limit.

Nottingham streets surround me once more. It's been a strange and long day. After deciding not to pack sensibly I went for a winter walk around the Botanical Gardens and took photos of the snow and various beautiful things God made. Admittedly, as I wandered I imagined what it would be like if it was the last time I was there, and I felt the heavy combination of love for a city and despair at a situation. I don't know. I saw the familiar squirrels, friendly as ever, and guiltily smiled at one sat shivering in the snow.

Upon returning, the quietness strikes me as it always seems to. At uni I have music on constantly when I am in my room, even when falling asleep. The radio is on in the kitchen always. Here, I sit with mum having coffee and no sound comes for minutes on end. It's weird. I like silence, I like to sit and wait, but I like the choice. I even miss the irritating banging of B4 above me, although if the ceiling were to bang here, I'd freak out ridiculously...Tristan told me I had a twin brother who the parents put in the loft because he was mad. Another, slightly more noticeable thing, is that the bath has been reduced to 2 taps and a piece of jagged porcelain sticking out of the wall. This distresses me.

I don't know. I just don't know. There's a lot going on in my little, unsubstantial head.

I saw friends tonight. They're amazing, they really are.

Too tired in every way.

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