Wednesday 23 September 2009

Fever.

If I gave a voice to everything that has happened, that has touched me, that I'm feeling, thinking, wanting, the people I've met, the sheer vastness of this past few days, well, my keyboard would disappear, my fingers would bleed and the depiction would still fall short.

My head's a busy place right now.

I guess this is the biggest thing I've ever done for God...bar the old giving back of the life He saved. It's the most clear instruction He's ever given me (or at least the clearest I've heard, which is more likely)...and so in that sense it should be easy- I've found there's no arguing with God in the end...though obviously I tried like a stubborn mule.

And now I'm here I'm so glad. Why? This is a city that is going to be rocked to it's very foundations. The feeling of hope, expectation and potential, is so strong. Walking in the street I can feel God's presence hovering like a cloud, pouring out of people. Amazing. Imagine, if we were to give Him full reign. If we were to listen and act. If we were to open up this box that God's constantly shoved into and lived in the awesome power of His love. I've already heard incredible stories of healing, salvation, transformation. In bedrooms. I'll be honest- I'm not there yet. I'll lay hands on people, I'll follow a holy nudge...but fear still sits with faith, and there's something strange about that combination. But I think that this is the place I need to be to overcome that fear and live in faith. I really can't wait.

So, that's the incredible stuff, in short. There's a lot more, but I'm exhausted. Walking back and forth from my residence (which is incredible- you can see for miles out of the lounge and squirrelly grass from my bedroom window) to the campus is hard-going, especially when you're the most disorganised person in the world and constantly forget necessary forms at home. I queued for 3 hours today. My knee is shot. And the old fear of eating in public makes getting the necessary calories tricky. Ah well. I can't keep up with my flat-mates...I went out with them on Sunday night but since have done other stuff (they're wonderful, it's just I'm an old woman). I spent a while last night on the bathroom floor, admiring the porcelain of the toilet bowl. Praise the lord for the healing promises.

All in all, I love Sheffield. Lots. It's a shame that my heart keeps getting broken out of the corner of my eye, but we persevere.

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