I couldn't decide what to do tonight, so I started drawing. I ended up using an old poem as the basis, and drew a bedraggled figure clinging desperately to what would eventually be a golden throne. In the poem, it's about how we try so desperately to be the rulers of our own lives, when really, the only one worthy of and trustworthy in that position is Jesus. So I was pondering this as I drew. When I had finished the figure, I was going to fill in the throne behind her. But for some reason, God told me to cut her out. I am not in the habit of destroying art that I've made- perhaps this is a lesson of humility and obedience in itself. Anyway, I took my trusty craft knife and cut out this figure, almost in the fetal position, arm outstretched to hold on to as much as she could. I decided to put her to one side, paint a throne, and stick her over it. So I went to lean her on my pin board. Her dimensions and pose meant that as I put her down, she immediately looked as if clinging to the person in one of my photographs. The person was significant, which is ironic. I then moved her, absent-mindedly placing her on my purse. She clung. She is now grasping my guitar quite intently.
Anyway, it all made me think (as though this were a strategically designed exercise), about how we cling to so many things in life, and considering her original attachment to that gilded throne, how we let so many things rule us. People, money, ambition, self-interest, laziness, grades, comfort, appearance... I'm going to ponder what it is that I need to let go of right now, and get on with it.
"I have realised that I own nothing in life. Everything is a gift from God to look after and be accountable and responsible for."