OD.

I was thinking last night about how different I am in Nottingham to in Sheffield. How slow-paced the holidays are, how little is achieved, how little fruit I see, how little I look for. Why does my life stop between semesters? How has this become an excuse? Am I so dependent on organised and bureaucratic events like text-a-toastie to tell people that they're loved beyond belief? God, I hope not. I know, it can be about the way you're living, just loving people day to day. I guess I just feel a bit like I'm taking a break from where I'm supposed to be. Although to be honest, I'm not sure anymore. I think there needs to be a shaking up. Yes please. I want that sense of urgency, that passion and that divine energy to do something about it.

In other news, My Epic's new album Yet has been played in my ears repeatedly since I received it on the 8th of July. I cannot describe how good it is. Every day lyrics reflect my heart, my failures and my regrets, my awe and my gratitude. I may go as far to say that it is my all-time favourite album now, which is not something I'm in the habit of professing. The songs are often more challenging than sermons, contain more succinct lessons of who God is, who we are, what life is like trying to reconcile these two. Just beautiful, painful, honest emotion of desperate hearts. It's haunting.

I know with each breath I come one closer, but death is just a hook behind the door where I’ll leave my dirty clothes....