Candid.

Small thing that made me think yesterday. I was discussing with a friend how whenever I meet new people and they find out I play the guitar, I often get asked to meet and play with them. And although I love the idea of this, I know that I'm not very good, and I'm even worse when I'm with people. And thus I feel silly and worry that I'll disappoint them by not living up to their expectations (even though I've never claimed to be anything better than I am, which is pants). In a bid to comfort me, my friend remarked, "well don't worry, when guys like girls who can play the guitar, they don't want them to be better than them". Oh phew. Crisis averted, except for two problems. First, the massive generalization of men. Second, what hierarchy of importance am I giving off in vibes that would lead to the assumption that I want to sacrifice being better at the guitar in order to please a guy? Obviously this will never be an issue, my musical abilities are not competitive, they're sufficient to bring God glory and me joy/comfort/embarrassment, and that's fine with me. But still. The principle of it.

In a past relationship, we had serious issues where we both felt inferior to each other in spiritual matters, and it wore us down. I'm of the persuasion that in a couple, the man should be the leader, especially in spiritual terms*, but if he feels that he's being "out-done" (what a horrible concept) by the woman, does that mean that she should make concessions, step back from some activities, turn down her spiritual volume to enable him to be heard? No. Not at all. Mutual encouragement, spurring each other on to love and good deeds, living by example, sharpening each other. No jealousy, no competition, just teamwork and humility.

Priorities, I guess, is what I'm getting at. Knowing what yours are. And knowing if your actions and words tell the same story.

I, make very stupid concessions, which I hate. I'm feeling it today.




*this is a subject I could expand on a fair bit, with regards to church leaders, timid guys, bolshy women, myself being impatient/demanding/arrogant ...and subsequent issues.